ye olde crapfest

"did you know, that at kroger, if you check out, it doesn't matter if you're in the checkout line or if you do the do-it-yourself scanner thingy, if the price comes up wrong, you can get your food TOTALLY FREE? i get free food that way all the time. one time, i got a bag of apples, you know, gala apples, they were supposed to be $4.99, and it rang up for like, $5.99 or $6.99 i can't remember. but i told the lady, and i got a whole bag of apples for free. i get free stuff all the time. i just got these vitamins free, even though they were buy one get one free and that's really cheap anyway, they were free, 'cuz they rang up wrong."

--the venerable k@rl@ "lulu" c0rr311, gaytime.gay employee of the century

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so that's how my day's going so far. just dumb and annoying and seemingly pointless.

hope everyone has some excellent plans for this halloweiner weekend. i'm dressing up as MONOPOLY! not really, but that's what everyone will say. dammit.

everybody get out your fall clothes, your fall shoes, your fall cutlery, etc., it is officially "that time of year."

we got punkins this weekend, though the carving has yet to happen. i'm still trying to figure out a way to top last years' fire-breathing wyld stallyns punkin. it's gonna be hard, trust me.

i also drank about a gallon of gin (okay. maybe not THAT much) this weekend. i can taste christmas trees.

well, i guess that's all i've got, except of course for this:

GO RED SOX!!!

and this:



oh, quick story...i was talking with mr. dan "dad" cops-a-feel last night, and he goes "i bet you like johnny damon, don't you." and i said "well, yeah! how'd you know?" and he said, "dang, isn't it obvious? he's like, soooo your type."

so i guess "my type" is a 70s style-baseball player with jesus-esque hair and indescernible ethnicity. that sounds about right.

make the catches, johnny damon! hit the balls! run the bases! w00t!

...Outside of Chechnya in winter, London has to be the place my stomach fears the most, but it was actually better than I thought. It was fun and educational (I took a guided tour of the Tower of London and now know what crack tastes like although those two events are not linked) and I made many new friends there. I bought a cool jacket, and I ate a pie. Let’s see…what else? The prostitutes are a bit soggy and the money is heavier and the exchange rate sucks. Over all I would say don’t go to London unless you have twice as much money as you would spend for a similar vacation in say, Providence Rhode Island, but also, don’t go on vacation in Providence Rhode Island, that would be foolish.

extracted from david cross's most recent post to bobanddavid.com. why is he so funny? why? and also, why does it smell like mega-sweaty-horsepenis in my office?

(don't worry, it's not dirty or anything)

"for all your inflatable mannequin needs."

i mean, i guess some people do have inflatable mannequin needs.

i guess.

joy!

well hullo there.

i feel like blogging today, so provided that blogger cooperates...

the workstuff at gehtime.geh is increasing at an alarming rate. i'm gonna have to hire some help in the very near future, so if anyone out there's looking for some part time "work" (mainly dubbing tapes and writing some pretty basic lame stuff and taking orders from me and also plenty of dickaround time), hit me up. i'd rather know what i'm getting into with a coworker than get surprised with some kind of mongoloid or mega-christian.

today, i had to go to n'albany indiana for a whole ten minutes. hour plus some in the car to shake hands and give a lady my business card, then back on the road. on the way back to lex-town, i made the last-second decision to stop in at the old p@u1's fr00t m@rk3t to pay a visit to my old bossman. we'll call him john h, as that is his name. it was real cool seeing that guy; upon seeing me out in the store he seemed really surprised (pleasantly) and said it was weird cuz he'd been thinkin' about me (nude, i'm sure) the other day and wondering how i was. so, we shot the shit for a few minutes and i purchased some pasta salad and steak rub and i was once again on my way.

it's been a while since i've embarked on a fairly longish drive all by my lonesome. it was really nice. i used to do the louisville-to-lex drive entirely too often, but over the years, my connections to la'ville have petered out and i have no real reason to do it. yeah, it was nice. except for the rain, and also the fucking assholes who insist on driving like steven segall acts.

i listened to the postal service the whole way there and back...i know it's nothing "new," but i'd given it a bit of a break over the last few months, so it was time.

i've decided that ben gibbard would be The All Time Best Boyfriend Ever (TATBBE for all you superweb-heads) because he has it all figured out. what ladies want, that is.

ladies want a boy who says this:

i'll be the grapes fermented
bottled and served with the table set
in my finest suit
like a perfect gentleman

i'll be the fire escape
that's bolted to the ancient brick
where you will sit
and contemplate your day

i'll be the water wings
that save you if you start drowning
in an open tab
when your judgements on the brink

i'll be the phonograph
that plays your favorite albums back
as you're lying there
drifting off to sleep

i'll be the platform shoes
undo what heredity's done to you
you won't have to strain
to look into my eyes

i'll be your winter coat
buttoned and zipped straight to the throat
with the collar up
so you won't catch cold

i want to take you far
from the cynics in this town
and kiss you on the mouth

we'll cut our bodies free
from the tethers of this scene
start a brand new colony

where everything will change
we'll give ourselves new names
identities erased

the sun will heat the grounds
under our bare feet
in this brand new colony

so yeah, just gimme a guy who can come up with something like that, and i'll give him twoty-seven blumpkins and the use of my ovaries and mammory functions for life.

oh, le sigh.

i'm trying to think
of ways to draw "rocket poo"
in microsoft paint