8.17.2005

 

fun times.

the mailman just came in and asked if i knew any "Mr. Steven Sanders" in this building.

92-21-10 forever.


8.12.2005

 

just call me "biopsy c0ps3y"

so, "operation: lymph node back to normal" has been a miserable failure. i tried all the suggested courses of action, but this thing just will not unembiggen itself. and so, next we go to the cutting stage, in which i am assaulted with a giant needle, all in the name of science. the goal is diagnosis, folks. wish me luck.

in other news, i am so fucking glad it's friday. if i lived in france, i could be lazy and go home at 3:00 every afternoon, but that's just not how it is. for shame.

and now, here is a picture of the science. i took it myself!


8.10.2005

 

lazy r people 2

good day.

i am at work, very bored. there's just not much to do... at least, there's not much PRESSING SHIT that needs to be done. there are some long-term project type things i could be doing, like shopping for new computers, learning how to operate and maintain a server, and writing a script for a funeral home. it's tougher than you'd think.

i meant to get up today and give z his "surprise!" free coffee voucher from stupidamerica, but it was cooooooold in the bedroom, and i couldn't make myself leave the warm and toasty bed. and so, i fell back to sleep and didn't get up until after 8am (shower time is 7:40... if i start any later than that, there's no chance my hair will dry sufficiently in time), so i just got dressed and got my shit together and left. hence, my hair is "undone," my pits are slightly "not unstinky," (yeah, i forgot deodorant, i'm an idiot) and the hair all over my body is starting to grow back (yes, i have to shave EVERY DAY, i am a monkey) ever so slowly and prickily. i am hoping this day goes quickly so that i can get home and get clean.

well, that's all i got... i didn't say this update would be exciting. not much is these days. that might sound a bit whiny, but really i'm not complaining a bit. i like it all quiet and chilled out. we went to shaker village this weekend, and i didn't have a horrible time. i mean, seriously!


8.02.2005

 

thoughts and observations

it's like, the weirdest thing ever to hear the words "and she bit the head of his penis plum off" come out of your 56-year-old boss's mouth. we were discussing how women are best off fighting for their lives when placed in kidnap/rape-esque situations, and he told me about some lady in lex-town who got forced to suck some dude off in a parking garage downtown.

"and she bit the head of his penis plum off."

i squirmed a little, fought off a gag, and then promptly blushed.

**********************

i've been thinking (again.) (always.) about quitting my job. but first, i have to get my NEW job lined up, the one in which i am a world-renowned cereal inventor. yes, i've decided to go ahead and pick a career, and that career is going to consist of visualizing, creating and taste-testing new and fabulous varieties of breakfast gold. my cereal creations will be the best ye hath ever tasted, and my name shall be known the world over. i predict a time magazine cover and fold-out photo spread showing how "cereal can be sexy." i also predict they will airbrush out my moles and freckles.

**********************

i sometimes get insecure about my body, especially my non-existent ass, but a recent picture on the internets has given me renewed love for my caboose. woah, that yatch (a "famous" movie star whose name rhymes with "t@r@ re1d") is a sad, busted lady. she needs to do some work on her gloits and her lutes.

**********************

and finally, i am about to go get my hair "did." me and sailordew are gonna go to a real-life salon and have some real life "hair artists" tell us what's what. we're also both toying with the idea of "wispy semi-bangs," which is the reason we're going to a real place instead of the local neighborhood great clips. we want a doctor to recommend whether or not we should even consider this life-changing procedure, so to speak. i hope it turns out well... bad hair is such a bitch to have to live with. i don't want to spend the next few months crying waiting for it to grow out. fingers be crossed.

**********************

p.s. busty et al.: i will indeed be posting some pics from my trip. we didn't get many, but as soon as i get around to resizing them, i intend to share. in the meantime, here's one my uncle took, showcasing my fabulously toasted cleavage! why he couldn't wait for me to get off the phone, i do not know. enjoy!


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