ye olde crapfest

well, i was right. the girl that works at the stupid-a by my work is indeed a lez. and she does indeed have a crush on me. today, she finally let me in on it. after months and months of making me mildly uncomfortable by doing such things as staring at me in line, no matter what she was doing or where i was in said line, calling me things like "honey" and "sugar" and "sweetie," and trying to guess what i wanted before i even got to her ("any cigarettes today, cutie?"), today was the day.

i took my fountain dew and my cough drops up to the unusually empty counter, and said my typical "how are ya?"

she got that nervous little half smile look on her face (she reminds me of this sorta retarded girl crystal that i went to middle school with), and said "of all of your dresses, that's my favorite." and then she looked away blushing. she looked back up, perhaps to gauge my reaction, at which point, i was hastily shoving my goods into my purse and pretending to look for my keys.

"i keep meaning to ask you. do you live around here, or just work?"

"well, i work in the circle, but i don't live too far away."

"cuz i think i saw you the other day out walking your dog."

now, if i ever took it upon myself to walk george, this might be a possibility. however, i am a self-proclaimed lazy slut, and have never once walked george any farther than ToTheCar or ToTheBackyard. and so, i figure it wasn't me she saw...

anyway, i just agreed so i could get out of there, i didn't like where this was going... and as i was saying my usual "thanks, have a good one," it happened.

"um... can i ask you a question?"

"sure, what's that?" i responded nervously, against all of the better judgement i've ever had.

"you don't, by any chance...date girls, do you?"

"no, no i don't." i said with much authority, as this is one of those things i'm totally sure about, girls do absolutely nothing for me, and i've made out with some pretty hot ones in my day, thank you very much.

"oh. okay. well, i guess no harm in asking, right?"

right. except i'm never going to come in your store during the morning shift ever again. not that i have anything against lezzes, it's just that i don't like feeling like that sorta retarded girl crystal from my middle school is staring at my tits again. that's all.