ye olde crapfest

all you ladies be careful... i do believe there is a silent menace out there as we speak, spreading its fertile joy and love all over lex vegas and injecting any and all living, breathing female things with its magic beans! i'm calling it "the sperm tsunami," and i'm not trying to make any fun of any tragedy, so just hold your comments right there, buddy bear. (people are so sensitive sometimes, you know?) anyway, yeah, the sperm tsunami has taken its toll on the local population here in the last year or so, really. it's like a virus, and it's spreading! before i know it, all of my ladyfriends will be either a) knocked the fuck up, or b) married and trying to figure out whether or not to get knocked the fuck up. but, i guess, what can we do? we're fertile little creatures in our prime, we are...

i'm in no hurry, just in case you wanted to know my stance on that whole thang. happily fakely married, yes, and perfectly comfortable with our current "limited liability" status. but to those of you who are embarking on this new and poop-filled journey, i give you my congratulations and offer my baby-sitting services.

once.

use it wisely.

for those of you who are confused by my horrifically vague verbage up there, i'm talking about babies. babies, people. they're gonna be everywhere. you just watch.

oh, and, in the interest of continuity, i DID get some goat cheese today. it's gonna be awesome, when i finally eat it. awesome i tell you.